God has a Plan for Your Life
Sometimes our culture can make it feel like the ultimate goal in life is to find a lifelong partner and that somehow we will find ultimate fulfillment in being married. Movies and TV often revolve their plots around “getting the girl” at the end of the show. Churches can also feel this way, and single guys can feel out of place when the church they’re attending focuses heavily on families and marriage.
As a single guy, forming friendships can be challenging in the church as well. You may not be able to relate to the same life circumstances as the married couple or the family with kids. This can make it challenging to form friendships or find meaningful opportunities in these settings.
However, God has a plan for your life which may not look the same as expectations around you. While it’s true that marriage can be a blessing, God also uses single men in His calling for life. He can bring purpose and fulfillment to your life as you follow Christ as a single guy, and as a member of the body of Christ, you belong. God may have a ministry or purpose for you which looks different from that which He’s given to married men or fathers.
Some of the most impactful individuals are those who have a close devotion to God in their single life. Some are able to travel, go to the places God leads them, and even dedicate more time in focused ministry, giving everything they have to be surrendered to God. The Apostle Paul was a single man who devoted himself to spreading the Gospel and teaching the early churches. Take a look at what the Apostle Paul said about being single:
I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
1 Corinthians 7:26-28
Here Paul is ultimately saying to live as you are called by God. Don’t take your eyes off from God’s direction in your life by becoming so focused on a different kind of life situation or condition that you think you need to be under. Recognize that God has a plan for your life as a single guy, and that plan isn’t being withheld.
Paul lived an adventurous life with a deep purpose in his heart to make disciples and share the Gospel everywhere he traveled. While the world may pressure into believing that your ultimate purpose is found in marriage, don’t allow this pressure to make you feel excluded.
Marriage Can be Beneficial, but is Not Required
Paul didn’t completely rule out marriage, however. In this chapter of Corinthians Paul also addressed those who struggle with self control when it comes to desires for women and even advises that marriage can be beneficial in their sanctification journey so that they don’t “burn with passion” as he describes.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Are you content with being single? Do you desire a wife? God knows what is in your heart. Don’t be afraid to be honest with Him. Don’t feel condemned either way. We are called to a life of freedom as we walk together with Christ. Some guys never get married, while others may find a wife at some point in the future. Bring your requests to God and trust with an open hand that He has a plan for you.
Focus on Your Calling from God
Surrendering your life to Christ includes trusting Him and allowing God to write your story. He is a loving Father and He knows your heart deeply and intimately. God uses the condition of your life to grow you into the man He has created you to be. He will sanctify you and lead you every step of the way. Let your requests be made known to Him and believe that He hears you.
God can see the big picture of your life, and has plans for you. Whether you remain single or get married in the future, it does not change that God is good and blesses you with every spiritual blessing in Christ. It does not exclude you from the body of Christ. You can find rest in this assurance and know that He is with you always and has a calling and purpose on your life..