Isolation can be a snare which makes you feel like you’re stuck in prison walls. It’s not just the state of being alone, it’s a deep sense of being separated from God and others spiritually. It may be difficult to trust others, and instead of fulfilling relationships it may feel like you only have “shallow” ones. The truth is God didn’t design us to be isolated, and the good news is that with His help, God wants to lead you out of isolation back to the relationships He designed us for.
Have You Started to Embrace Your Own Isolation?
Even though most people would agree that isolation is undesirable, it can actually turn into a false comfort which we begin to embrace. Isolation can become a place where we build walls of self-protection around ourselves. First, we need to recognize that despite how comfortable it may be, it’s not the place God has for us to live our lives. You may have tried many times to escape isolation and failed, but I want to encourage you that with God’s help you don’t have to face this struggle alone anymore. Recognize that the harmful comforts of isolation are false, and God has greater plans for you than to live in isolation. This small first step of faith is an enormous one in your journey out of isolation.
Recognize the Limits of Self
Isolation can lead you to living in a limited world of self. When you’re constantly in your own thoughts and your own mind there are limited opportunities to grow and expand outside of that world. It can actually blind your vision in certain areas where you need others to give you feedback and another perspective. Isolation can lead you to putting too much trust in self. Culturally, we’re told that it’s a strength to “trust in yourself,” “believe in yourself,” and “rely on yourself.” The truth is we must first trust in, believe in, and rely on God. We are designed to be sharpened and challenged by others as part of our growth. God uses people as different parts of the Body of Christ (the Church) as part of our growth, healing, and learning. Self reliance can become a pride which hinders us from enjoying these relationships.
Do It God’s Way
Recognize that God never expected you to navigate your way out of isolation on your own. Striving to escape isolation in your own effort can become the very burden which hinders and discourages you. Maybe you’ve been approaching it like a problem to solve and it just isn’t working. Cease striving, and know that He is God! He has a way out for you, but you’ve got to take a risk and trust Him. I would encourage you to spend some time in prayer on this.
Here is a prayer I have for you as a starting point: “Father, thank you for understanding that isolation is something I struggle with. I give you this burden. I trust that You want to help me out of isolation, and that You have a specific plan for helping me to connect with others in the Church. I let go of my own efforts and strategies, and I trust You to lead me every step of the way toward finding a community. Thank you for your mercies every day and for your faithfulness to lead me each step of the way. I may not see the way, but I’m trusting You are leading my path. I pray this in Jesus name.”
Walking Out of It
In your journey out of isolation you may start to be confronted with counter-intuitive challenges. You may need to start doing the opposite of what some of your harmful habits of isolation would suggest. Be ready for life to look different than you were expecting as you learn to put yourself out there. Have grace for yourself through these habit changes.
See People Through Jesus’ Eyes
Sometimes people suck. Yes, I said it! That doesn’t change when you start to step out of isolation; however, ask Jesus to help you see other people through His eyes. Our Savior had a love for people which goes beyond our own, and God wants to show you His heart for people that goes beyond their flaws and annoyances.
People Unlike You
This may require embracing people who are not like you, or people who are not interested in the things you’re interested in. Isolation can put us in a closed system of our own interests, and as we start to hang out with new people we find that nobody is interested in those specific things we’re interested in. That’s Ok! Unlike internet communities, it’s not as easy to find people who are interested in exactly the topics you’re interested in, but once you get to know them new people teach you about topics which you didn’t know anything about. That’s part of the fun in meeting new people – we’re all different.
Now you may find that your relationships are limited with non-Christians as a deep fellowship with others is limited when it comes to those who don’t know Jesus. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” There is wisdom in recognizing this that you may not have really close relationships with those who don’t know Jesus. You can still love them and see them through His eyes, but there may be limits to how much you can grow together.
There May Be Healing Needed
Many people who have gone into isolation have been hurt by others, and there may be some healing that needs to take place. There may be some unforgiveness or bitterness that’s holding you back into isolation. Forgiveness is a big deal. In Matthew 18:22, Jesus instructed not to just forgive others sometimes, but to make it a consistent part of every day, “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.'”
Forgiveness is part of the Lord’s prayer where Jesus modeled how to pray to our Heavenly Father. If you feel hurt from others or feel embittered and angry toward others this is usually a sign that your heart needs healing by turning your heart toward forgiveness. I know that’s easier said than done, but if you bring that hurt and pain to the cross of Jesus in prayer and give it to Him, He will release you from it and help you to forgive. Remember, Jesus has forgiven ALL of your sins, and forgiving others is part of our response to the forgiveness God has given us in Jesus.
There Is No Shame in Struggling with Isolation
Wherever you are in your journey today, there is no shame. Jesus loves you and is kind and merciful to you. I release you from any shame and darkness you may be feeling in your heart through the struggle of isolation. I encourage you to go to Jesus and find the comfort and love that you’re looking for in Him. He wants to show you the way out of isolation and into the blessings God has for you. Bless you, and the Lord be with you.